We (sorta) Bought a Zoo

I thought the deer that wandered behind our apartment were pretty amazing, but our new house is Wild Kingdom in comparison. Yes, we also have deer at the house, but we also have so much more!

During my first few days at the house, I noticed a rather large bird in our backyard, and I had no idea what it was. I described it to my dad as pheasant-looking, to which he replied, "It's probably a turkey." A turkey?! This bird did not look like the five-fingered, colorful drawings of my childhood. It was brown and boring. I was not convinced it was a turkey until a couple days later when a male turkey with one of those red things I used to draw on my Thanksgiving turkeys' necks came tromping through my yard. He looked more like a turkey. We have had tons of turkeys come through our yard since, and nothing is more entertaining than watching them awkwardly run away from you. Don't worry - I'm not chasing them. They run away even if they see me move in front of the back windows.

Dharma and turkey have a stare down.

 Another fun guest we have had in our yard is the box turtle. Both my husband and I have a love of turtles that stems from our youth when we brought box turtles home, fed them strawberries, and cried when they (surprisingly) ran away. I have a knack for intruding on turtle nappy times in my garden. My favorite moments are when I look out the kitchen window and see turtles trucking through my yard.

Ahhh! He's so cute.

"Gotta go! There are some strawberries in your garden calling my name."

These are just a couple of animals out of many. The rest have been too fast, stinky, or scary to take photos of. I have seen a raccoon explore my backyard and then climb the tree right next to the house. I have smelled skunks and had the pleasure of finding skunk body parts in my front planter (if it was skunk fight club, no one would tell me about it.) I saw two cute skunks running euphorically side by side in a neighbor's yard, but I did not see a live skunk in my yard until a couple weeks ago. He was cute, but I didn't pet him.

One of the most curious and elusive findings was the skink. I had no idea that there were lizards in Kansas. When I saw lizards on walls in Puerto Rico and Hawaii, I thought, "Wow, we have nothing like this in Kansas." FALSE. We have skinks with blue tails. They're fun to watch on my back patio as they chase bugs.

This is an artistic rendering of what a skink in my backyard might look like.

Other fun reptile findings include small toads and large snakes. I have found small toads enjoying the mist of my garden. I have also found them stuck to my front windows at night. I've just seen one snake. I got out of the car one day and saw a gigantic snake sitting in front of my garage. He looked a little disfigured, and I was worried he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time when my husband left for work that morning. However, the snake was gone when I checked on him later.

Other than all the animals I have seen, I have heard howling outside my window at night and have yet to figure out what it was. I'm pretty sure it's Jacob from Twilight, but Kansas is pretty far from Washington.

So if you're ever bored and hankering to see some animals, come on down to the Smuber Zoo. Admission is free, and we take no responsibility for what you think is okay to touch.

Days of our Spiders

I've been spending a lot of time at home this summer because I only had to teach one course online. When you're home alone for as long as I am, you may get a little stir crazy. One way I've kept myself entertained is by making up names and situations for the daddy long legs that have gotten into the house. I haven't seen daddy long legs in these numbers since my parents and I lived in a house in Missouri right next to a forest. While my suburban tendency would be to kill them all, I have spared them and enjoyed their bug-eating company.

There are daddy long legs all over the outside of our home, and I guess to keep warm on 100+ degree days, they have been huddling themselves together.

Spider huddle!

They also creepily look in the glass panes that are on either side of our front door. A few have made their way into the house and set up bug-eating shop on my ceiling. While my normal reaction would be to reintroduce these guys to their maker, I have become a softy and a budding spider drama novelist. These are the days of our spiders.....

The first daddy long legs we found was in our bathroom. His life was spared due to my lack of height, and the longer he stayed, the more I grew used to him. Yes, it was a little frightening that he was always hovering over the part of the bathroom I needed to use, but he seemed sure-footed. He became Aragorn after my husband confused spider and strider. A jealous daddy long legs tried to come and unseat Aragorn, but this spider, who we named Boromir, unfortunately came into the bathtub and suffered a watery death. Aragorn reigned supreme for about another week, but unfortunately, he met his end last night. He wasn't in the bathroom when I took a shower last night, which worried me. I was even more worried (ie frightened to death) when I found him chilling in my sink. I figured he'd return to his rightful place, but I found him dead on our jacuzzi this morning. Who knows if he was poisoned, batted to death by my cat, or killed off by old age. I have my theories..... RIP Aragorn.

These three are currently in my office. Notice their love for huddling. When there were just two, my husband and I referred to them as Peter Parker and Mary Jane. A third, Octavius, entered the scene and a few days later had joined the huddle. I'm not quite sure how their story will unfold, but I will probably watch as I prepare syllabi and my fall online course over the next couple weeks.

I'm pretty sure I've guaranteed that no one will ever visit my house again.......